Chelsea is home

Sorry that I haven't written in a while....but things have been crazy with work,kids getting ready for school....our trip to Texas and then Chelsea being admitted to the hospital for 5 days. She has Ulcerative Colitis....which was pretty severe once we finally were able to get it diagnosed....but she is being treated and is on the mend. THANK GOD FOR LITTLE THINGS!!! As I sat in the hospital...I tried not to think about all the BAD things that she could have....instead I prayed for the progress...we did see less blood...we did see her feel better...and that was enough for me. She had a colonoscopy on Monday....yeah...not fun...because they have to give you a prep the night before which helps clean you out....well not that she really needed cleaning out...since nothing was coming out but blood.....but anyway long story short...that was 12 hours of vomiting and diarrhea for her. She had nothing in her stomach to vomit...so the acid burnt her esophagus...so now she is having to fight that pain along with the stomach pain from the UC. Poor baby...I wouldnt wish this on anyone. She has to take several pills...well really only 2 different pills...but several of the same pill to get the dosage....and eat a low residue diet to give her colon time to heal.....that is an upside...because thats all the pasta and potatoes she can stand!!! The GI doctor that performed her colonoscopy was WONDERFUL...I thank GOD that he was the one on schedule...he held her hand and gave her comfort...and then actually sat down in the waiting area to talk to me...because of course I was crying when he told me (due to knowing too much about the diagnosis...and the 'what ifs')....he had patients waiting...and he still took the time....THANK YOU GOD....THANK YOU!! That moment.....those brief few minutes...gave me peace. Dad came into my thoughts so much during this time....all I wanted to do was call him...and talk...listen to him say...she's strong...just like you...and everything would be ok....oh how I miss that!! Oh how I soooo need that!! Well I better get off...school starts tomorrow....and I need to get up early......

Dear Daddy,

I have been thinking about you alot lately....sometimes its a smell, a song, or a memory that comes flooding into my mind. Life seems sooo much harder now that you are gone...really can't tell you why...except that it was always nice to here your thoughts or opinions...even though sometimes you would give too much opinion... :) I guess just that little bit reassured me that I was making the right choices....being the best mom....or just living my life the right way. I can't explaing it...because I get advice from mom...and my friends...but it just doesnt seem the same....I guess the difference is that you are gone... Yes...I can admit your gone....I have accepted it..... but still after 3 and 1/2 months....I find myself reaching for the phone to call you...because we havent talked in a while. WHY?

I am angry....angry that I live so far away and couldnt be there more....angry that I missed our call the sunday before you died.....angry that I couldnt see that you were sick...I am a believer in all things happen for a reason....but I can't find that courage this time.....

I miss you....more than I ever thought I would....more than you ever thought I would...more than the waters that occupy the earth....more than the number of people who live on earth.......I REALLY MISS YOU!!!

I pray that time will help me....and GOD will lift this tremendous weight off my shoulders...thats all I know to do....because you arent here to guide me this time.....

I love you daddy.......

Dad's Headstone

Well dad's headstone was placed this week. Such a bittersweet moment. I can't wait to see it in person!!

Fishing Trip

The kids went with Keith a few weekends back on a camping trip at Beaux Bridge. They stayed at a cabin which had an enclosed back deck...so the kids could fish all day. Kaitlyn and Kase got kinda bored into the second day...but Coby woke up at 6AM even on Sunday ready to fish!!!

Jellystone Park

We went camping at Jellystone Park a few weekends back....it was a blast. The park has lots of activities for the kids...even has pools,peddle boats,canoes,putt-putt golf,a game room...and lots of other activities scattered throughout the day. This was our first time visiting...but wont be our last...the kids already want to go back. We pitched a tent...just me and the kids....cooked on the grill...and played for almost 2 days in the sun and water!!Kase went home early because he was being sooo bad that I was scared with all the water he would get hurt...I hope his lesson is learned and next time he can stay the whole time!! It was a much needed break for me....and the kids!!

The park is themed like Yogi Bear the cartoon....everything is in character..the bears even visit throughout the day.

Here is the ranger station: AKA..a store that sells everything...including souvineers



Here are the kids with Cindy...Yogi's girlfriend



Here we are on the pedal boats....(they said those life vests were adults...but all of us adults who were there to ride didnt think so....)



The kids playing in one of the 4 pools..this one had a mini slide...they loved it...



The game room.....

My Princess

Kaitlyn turned 8 Saturday....wow...8 years old....really doesnt seem like its been 8 years since I became a mom to 2 little girls!! She is like me in sooo many ways!! She loves to be first and succeed at everything (like me)....but I keep reminding her that winning isnt everything. She is verifiable....100% girly girl....there is no TOM BOY in this child!! PINK is her favorite color!! (of course)...and if it shines or has glitter on it...then she WANTS it!! I call her my PRINCESS...and she just smiles the biggest smile and her eyes light up. She loves thrift stores, dollar stores, and a garage sale will make her squeal with delight....(not sure if that is from me or paw paw Ken). Give her a dollar...and you have to go to town by the end of the day sooo she can spend it...LOL She will SHOP till she drops....(got that one from her Me Me)She can eat mashed potatoes for all 3 meals......and I have to MAKE her drink water!!(but thats her being a kid) She LOVES her sister to the point I think its borderline obsession.....LOL She can never get enough interaction...whether it be scrapping, playing games, playing house, playing grocery store....anything...she never wants to stop!!....She is one of a kind....

I took these photos Saturday after we got home from her party....I can't believe how grown-up she looks....time is going by so fast.....I hope she always knows that she will always be....my princess!!!

Happy Birthday Kaitlyn

We had her birthday at The Fun Farm...and good thing...the weather was sooo bad....lots of rain and lightening....but we all made it safe...and it was a great day. She had 2 friends get to come...Isabelle and Jenna...so that made her even more happy. Her theme was cheerleading....this was her cake.....



She even showed us a cheer or two....



She was center stage while eating cake and opening presents.....



She even stuffed an animal in honor of her b-day....(like build-a-bear)she chose a horse and named it Vegas after her papa John's horse.....

Awards Day

The kids have finished yet another school year.....oh how time really goes by fast. They received their awards last Thursday....each one had a great year....and got really good grades....and are looking forward to next year!!

Kaitlyn received a Honor Roll award, the Music Appreciation award, the Computer Lab award,the Library Service award



Coby performed for us......



then he graduated from Kindergarten



Kase received a High Honor Roll award, the Science, Spelling, and Social Studies award for making all A's all year, and the Computer Lab award.....he also was the top boy student in first grade to earn the most AR points....which are points earned for reading books then taking a test online about the book...if you pass it..then you are awarded points.....the points are redemed each six weeks for prizes. He received a certificate, a medal, and a $25 dollar gift card to books a million to buy some books!!!



Chelsea hasn't received her final report card yet.....but I am sure she also did a great job!! I am so proud of my kidos...they always try their best.....and in the end it shows!!

Now its time for SUMMER!! Lots of playing, cheer camp, karate camp, KK's birthday, trips to the library, camping out, the beach, the zoo....and anything else we can find to do!!!!

one of those moments.....

Hey dad, here lately I am having 'one of those moments' where missing you really hits hard. You know those times when it slaps you in the face....when you are least expecting it. I mean I know your birthday, Father's Day, and Christmas are going to be hard....but lately...its been everyday moments. Chelsea came home last week with a certificate from T.O.P.S.....she had scored high enough on her GEE to be eligible for a T.O.P.S scholarship in English to go to college on. I was SOOO proud of her....and the first thing I did was pick the phone up...and then I stopped...because I realized that I couldnt call you....I wasnt going to get to here your voice.....Chelsea wasnt going to get to here....'way to go'...or that you were proud of her. It ripped through me like the morning I got the call....the call that changed my life. Oh daddy....I miss you sooo much!! Some days are ok...and I talk to you and can manage to hold back the tears....but others....I can't stop crying...I can't stop asking WHY? There is soo much I need your advice on right now......so much that I want to know how you feel about it! This is one of those times....I could use a little sign....a sign that everything is going to be ok....... I love you daddy........

May Fest

The kids always have this performance at the end of the school year called May Fest. They have been preparing for it...since the begining of april. They were sooo excited when the night finally came and they were able to 'show' me their dances!!

The theme was 'Remember When'.....each class had a different decade that they represented with the songs and clothing....(really cute)

Coby danced to 'Who let the dogs out'


Kase danced to.....'Rock Around the Clock Tonight'


Kaitlyn danced to a mix...of 70's....like 'YMCA'....and 'Get Down'....

Happy 7th Birthday KASE

Kase turns 7 today....wow...really? he's already 7? Time has just flown by....he is such a little man. He trys to perfect everything he does.....he is VERY sweet with the ladies...LOL...and still loves to give me kisses...and snuggle in bed with me in the mornings. I hope he doesnt outgrow needing his mommy too soon!!!

We had the usual cupcakes with the class...then I made a cookie cake for home. He opened gifts from his brother and sisters....and a card from NaNa.....but the big stuff he will get on Saturday when he has his party at The Fun Farm with his friends.

Hey MOM....I look just like Pa Pa Ken....

That is what I heard Coby say yesterday after he got dressed from taking a bath. Dad would always amuze the kids and pull his sweat pants all the way up to his chest to make the kids laugh. He looked just like Erkel....LOL :) We all enjoyed the laugh.....and I enjoyed knowing that Coby still thinks of dad often!!

Rest in Peace DADDY

Chelsea took this picture of Coby saying bye to paw paw....when we were leaving Texas to come home. I am sure daddy was watching...and saying he loved him too!!!

All of us together.....

We took these pictures after dad's funeral....Isnt it sad that it takes death to bring a family together? I hate that dad will never get to see this picture....he will never get to have it hang on his wall...or show his friends. It really sucks to think about it!! Why do we take LIFE for granted? WHY? We all know that death is the end result of life. We all know that this really is our 'temporary' home.....but why do we still continue to pass up those chances.....the chances of getting together....saying I LOVE YOU.....or taking a picture......or saying I'm sorry....or that I forgive you....!!

I see LIFE different now.....its not a race for me anymore....I am not worried about bills...or how much I can squeeze into one day....I really dont care about that stuff anymore. I only care about my children knowing who I am.....what I believe in....and most of all that I LOVE THEM soooo much and would give my life for them without thinking twice about it!! I have always heard that there were people who didnt get a chance to learn about there parents...or ask important questions... before they died....I just never thought....I would be ONE of those people....so I have made a pledge to myself to change that for my children. I want them to know ME....what I was like as a child....what my dreams were....then and now....and what I love about each one of them....and most important....what my hopes are for their futures....!!!

Dad's Burial

We had dad's burial on yesterday(3-25).....it was just a family affair...but was really nice...and gave me some closure. The kids are on spring break this week....so it was the best time to go to Texas. We still have to finalize dad's estate...but that can be done later. I still have alot of anger about the way things were handled by several different people....and when the time is right...I will let them know how I feel. I was close to my father....real close...and his wishes were simple...and I believe that anyone that loved him...or said that they loved him.... should have obeyed those wishes.

I made dad this spray to cover his grave while the dirt is settling and the grass grows back....its made of sunflowers, gerber daisies, blue bonnets.....and has wheat and a brown raffia bow to make it country. I know dad loves it....he always loved the homemade things I would make him!! I can see his smile now...... :)

Dear Daddy.....

I miss my friend.....
The one my heart and soul confided in....
The one I felt the safest with....
The one who knew just what to say to make me laugh again....
And let the light back in....
I miss my friend....


I can't put into words how much I miss you. If I could turn back time....I would....I would go back years....just so I would have you to hold, to love, to laugh with over and over. I know that is selfish...but its just how I feel. You were my best friend....the one I called everytime I needed advice...or just to hear that I was right when Keith and I would get into a fight. I find myself saying that I am glad that you didnt suffer...or that you werent ill...but actually.....I almost wish that I would have known...had some kind of warning...that way...I could have been with you. There was so much more I wanted to know from you....I just always thought I had lots of time. I don't know how to go on....I feel lost...so lost....I depended on you for sooo much...and without you here....I have a black cloud in front of me. Will this ever change? I try to pray....but can't quite find the right words....all I have is unanswered questions. I miss you....and will always love you!!

Love, Cathy

The Sweetest Kids EVER!!!!

Well I had to work on Valentine's day...and the kids ended up being out of school the Friday before so they didnt get to celebrate Valentine's day at school either....so on Monday the 15th....we baked a cake...opened presents...and ate wayyy too much candy!! Aren't they the cutest???

Chelsea's 16th Birthday

Chelsea turned 16 on Feb 3rd. Kaitlyn and I went to Texas to celebrate with her. We started her 'birthday weekend' off with a party at Norman activity center. The theme was all about SWEETS..since it was her 'Sweet 16'! We had cupcakes, loads of candy...just about anything you could think of....but we also had finger sandwhiches, pizza rolls, chips and dip....and veggies. We hung out there till 10ish and then headed to mom's with her and her friend Brittney. It was like 2 AM before everyone went to bed...so we ended up getting a late start on our day. We ate pizza at mom's for lunch since most of us woke up at 11AM. We then headed to the mall for a photo scavenger hunt...along with some shopping of course. The girls had a list of things they had to do...crazy things, not so crazy things, and some just plain LAME things....but I had to take a picture of them doing it. The girls even jumped on the bungy jump in the mall....I was suprised Kaitlyn wanted to try it....and even enjoyed it! Afterward we headed to Olive Garden to eat....but there was such a long wait....we headed to Texas Roadhouse....again...a 55 min wait...so the girls decided on Mexican Food....we ended up at Casa Ole'. Fajitas were the choice of foods..... and the girls kept flirting with the waiter....LOL Then at the end....they sang Happy Birthday to Chelsea in spanish....and gave her an ice cream topped dessert. We took Brittney home....and then headed to dad's. It was a loong day....but truely one she will NEVER forget!! Then on Sunday we were suprised with a great little something......Chelsea came back to LA with us!!! It was a great weekend.....my birthday fell on Friday...and I enjoyed watching how happy Chelsea was celebrating her day and that was the best gift EVER!!!

GO SAINTS!!

The New Orleans Saints play this weekend for their chance to go to the Super Bowl. The school board declared today SAINTS day...and the kids were allowed to wear saints shirts. I couldnt see spending 15-25 dollars per shirt....so I made them some. Kaitlyn's fleur de lis is made out of material and attached to the shirt. Kase and Coby's is an iron on transfer that I found online!....they loved them...and they looked sooo cute too!!

Missing Brandy....

Today Brandy would have turned 33,but she was in an auto accident on Sept 18,2007...and didnt survive. I still can remember our conversation....her last words before the accident. The sound of the crash....then the silence! Its been 2 years...will I ever forget? Do I even want to forget? I MISS HER!! I miss her smile, I miss her crazy hair, and her ADHD ways that made me and Meg smile everyday in class!! :) She had such a big heart...and would help out anyone in need. We had sooo much in common...I guess thats why we became friends those first few days of nursing school. She was only in my life for 9 months....but has left such a void....an empty space that won't go away. She was just that kind of person...that kind of friend!! I feel so blessed to have known her...even for that short time....to have been called a FRIEND by her! I know that one day I will see Brandy again....and until then she is up in Heaven....drinking her Sonic ice tea....and watching over us until that day!!!

Playing Catch Up

Finally the internet is faster....and I can get some pics of the holidays uploaded. These are pics of the kids at Christmas and on our trip to Texas!!

The Night Before Christmas.....this is the kids in front of the tree. On Christmas eve we wrote our letters for Santa, baked cookies, fed Santa's reindeer, sang christmas songs and Church songs.....and finally headed to bed to await SANTA's arrival!!

Great Grandma.....this is the kids with Nana...my grandmother.

This is my nephew Derek.....he has grown up sooo much......I can't believe he will be 17 in Feburary. He is such a great kid!!!

Mom has a slot machine.....called the 'One Arm Bandit'.....well it didnt take long for the kids to get hooked....I think KK was hooked the most. This machine actually has a jackpot....around $20 so I think she was really wanting that money.

Coby finally spent some of his MONEY.....and won again with 3 bells on the machine!!

We had a great time.....it was brief but the kids enjoyed getting to see everyone....and so did I!! Things are finally getting back to normal....except the kids have been out of school Friday and today, Monday, due to the ice and cold weather which caused pipes to bust at the school....so hopefully tomorrow they will return....and I can go back to getting things organized around here before I head back to Texas Feb 5th.....for Chelsea Sweet 16 Birthday Party!!!! LOVE YA!!!

Happy Holidays

WOW...I can't believe 2009 is over. It seemed like the last 2 months were only 10 days long. Our Christmas was good....Chelsea was with us this year which was GREAT!! Dad met me the Sat before Christmas in Alexandria so that she could spend her entire break with us!! (thanks daddy)

On Christmas eve we wrote letters to Santa, baked cookies, and put out feed for the reindeer....then put on our PJ's and took some pictures infront of the Christmas tree before snuggling in our beds so Santa could visit us. Kaitlyn woke up first...it was barely day light outside...and of course she had already went to the tree and took account of what gifts were for whom....LOL!! She then proceed to wake everyone else up....(what happened to waiting till about 8 AM?)!!

Chelsea got a cell phone (hardly ever put it down...I am suprised the numbers werent melted from texting everyone...LOL), some clothes, a camera case, makeup, perfume, jewlery, and of course lots of other goodies. Kaitlyn got a camera -pink of course, a light bright, a purse, some girly perfume and makeup, an educational laptop, a HSM dance mat for the PS2, lots of jewlery....other goodies too. Kase got a RC Ford Truck, a tommy 20 nerf gun, Bakugan stuff, magnetix stuff....and some other goodies. Coby got a Lady bug pillow pet, RC VW Beetle car, Hot Wheels cars and race track...and several other toys. The all had a wonder christmas!! The kids even got me some musical Christmas decorations for me to put out with my christmas stuff for the years to come. We are truly blessed!!!

The kids and I went to Texas for New Years to take Chelsea back. It was a fast trip but we were able to see everyone.....including Nana...which was nice. The kids received even more goodies from everyone in Texas...(thank yall again).....they are loved so much!! We came home Saturday the 2nd.....so that I could go to work...and the kids could prepare for school which starts back tomorrow!!

I have lots of photos to upload....of the kids parties at school, Christmas, New Years with our Texas family.....so I will be adding those soon!!!

A Snow Day

Well it snowed last night....yep white fluffy snow. This makes the second year in a row that we have had actual snow. Last year on Dec 11th we got 8 inches....this was in no comparison....but nonetheless.....it was SNOW!! I worked last night....so when it was falling....we were having snowball fights....of course once we made sure the patients were all tucked into their beds....LOL!! Then when I got off....we let the kids play in it....throw snowballs....Kase even made a snow angel.....!! It was fun while it lasted....because by the afternoon...there were only traces of where snow once was. There are a few scattered places with snow still there.....but most has melted away!!!

Here are the kids playing in the snow~

A New Chapter

Everyone is good...just enjoying the fall weather that has hit all of a sudden. I went and signed my lease agreement today for the rent house. The kids and I went back tonight and cleaned some...well I cleaned they just ran around and played....LOL ! I have to work again on Sunday...so I plan on heading over to clean some on Monday after I take the kids to school. I should be able to start moving some things toward the end of next week. The house is still in Loranger....so the kids wont have to change school....or even mess up there routines.

Right now everything is kinda is slow motion for me....I am sure that will change soon...once the reality part kicks in with all parties involved. I am anxious and scared at the same time for what the future holds for me and the kids....but all I can do is pray and let GOD guide me.

I was able to get a more routine schedule at work. I will be working weekends....Friday, Saturdays and Sundays. I will be home during the week to help the kids with school stuff and attend any functions going on at school. Right now.....the kids will be with Keith a week and me a week....but when I have to work on the weekends I have them....he will keep them just while I am at work until I can make other arrangements. The next 2 schedules are made....so I am locked into the schedule till the middle of Janurary.....so we will see what happens. I am going to try to go to days and still work the weekends....that way the kids can stay at the daycare that my work provides on Sat and Sun. They only charge by the hour, and you only pay when your child stays....so it really is cost efficient for these types of situations.

Well my bed is calling me......only got in about 5 hours sleep today...and go back to work tomorrow....so I need to get my beauty sleep......LOL......