FALL is in the air

Well its September...which means pumpkins, Halloween, cooler weather...and beautiful colors outside!! I love to look at the trees as I am driving....its a realization of just how wonderful GOD really is......he created beauty all around us!! I have started decorating on the inside too....trying to get motivated and start early so that we can enjoy it longer.... :)

This is an arrangement I placed on my table.....love the lime green and orange...I see myself adding these colors all through the house....it gives me a warm feeling...I LOVE FALL!!

Coby turns 6

Today Coby turned 6 years old.....it seems like yesterday he was a newborn...and now he is making his own choices....and becoming more independent. Just Thursday he got ready for school...brushed his teeth...and I didnt even have to remind him....:) ...they grow up sooo fast.


His party was Star Wars....I don't think he has seen the movie more than once....but he plays the PS2 game all the time.....he is a master at it!!

This was him while we sang Happy Birthday......


He had several little friends come to celebrate with him......


Opening gifts....Star Wars, Hot Wheels, Kung Zhu Zhu and Transformers....

He stuffed an animal afterward.....he chose a lion....which he said was his favorite animal...not sure where that comes from?......"her name is Rory"

Playing games with friends.....

my new LIFE starts NOW

Well Chelsea decided to move back to Texas with her dad.....I am angry...not so much that she isn't with me...but that she used me. I have been told that children do this....but don't recall doing this to MY parents...but then again....I had more respect for my parents than she has ever had for me. I should have told her to stay in Texas to begin with...and make her dad and her work out their problems.....instead there I was to rescue her and the whole time she was waiting till he would let her come back....what an idiot I was!! She even told several of her friends she was moving back to Texas BEFORE she ever told me....what kind of crap was that....?? Anyway....I wished her well in life....and tried to talk her about her future and growing up and becoming responsible or she wasn't ever going to get anywhere in life....but I could tell she wasn't listening!! So its just me and the kiddos again....!! Maybe without their dad filling their heads with BS their whole life..... will actually make them respect me....or at least not portray me as a monster like Chelsea has.

I have decided that I am going to re-connect with myself and start living for ME!! I am 33 years old and I have always put others needs before mine....even done without over the years to make my kids, my family, and my friends happy.....but not anymore.....!!

My new life starts today....I have decided that instead of moving Kaitlyn back into the other bedroom....I am going to make it my scrap room. The kids are only here a handful of days a week anyway.....and I have already decorated there room accordingly....I am not changing it! I am spending my time and money on ME...what makes ME happy!! Of course....I am sure I will find obstacles along the way.....but its time for me to live....and that's what I plan on doing.....life is too short to not be happy.......!!

Chelsea's First Day of 11th Grade

OMG....is she really a junior...not my baby....! I can not believe this day has come....she is growing up sooo fast....well I guess she has grown up fast....is more appropriate!! She is feeling better...and I think ready for school now....hopefully today will be an easy day...and one that she will be able to manage.

Happy Birthday Daddy....

Back To School

School started on Aug 12th for us here....the kids were excited some....but getting up early in the morning....wasnt so exciting....LOL

Coby started first grade with Mrs. Farace...which was Chelsea's 4th grade teacher when she moved over here.....

Kase went to 2nd grade and got Mrs. Brown...which I got to know well last year because her class was 'buddy class' with Kaitlyn's....Kase would also go to her class last year for Math and Reading interventions since he was advanced....

and Kaitlyn is in 3rd with Mrs. Rapp....she seems nice...I don't really know alot about her....Kaitlyn says she knows her...and she is nice.....


Chelsea didnt start yet....she needed a little longer to recover...but will start on Monday!! I can't wait to see what exciting things their little minds will learn this year!!!

Chelsea is home

Sorry that I haven't written in a while....but things have been crazy with work,kids getting ready for school....our trip to Texas and then Chelsea being admitted to the hospital for 5 days. She has Ulcerative Colitis....which was pretty severe once we finally were able to get it diagnosed....but she is being treated and is on the mend. THANK GOD FOR LITTLE THINGS!!! As I sat in the hospital...I tried not to think about all the BAD things that she could have....instead I prayed for the progress...we did see less blood...we did see her feel better...and that was enough for me. She had a colonoscopy on Monday....yeah...not fun...because they have to give you a prep the night before which helps clean you out....well not that she really needed cleaning out...since nothing was coming out but blood.....but anyway long story short...that was 12 hours of vomiting and diarrhea for her. She had nothing in her stomach to vomit...so the acid burnt her esophagus...so now she is having to fight that pain along with the stomach pain from the UC. Poor baby...I wouldnt wish this on anyone. She has to take several pills...well really only 2 different pills...but several of the same pill to get the dosage....and eat a low residue diet to give her colon time to heal.....that is an upside...because thats all the pasta and potatoes she can stand!!! The GI doctor that performed her colonoscopy was WONDERFUL...I thank GOD that he was the one on schedule...he held her hand and gave her comfort...and then actually sat down in the waiting area to talk to me...because of course I was crying when he told me (due to knowing too much about the diagnosis...and the 'what ifs')....he had patients waiting...and he still took the time....THANK YOU GOD....THANK YOU!! That moment.....those brief few minutes...gave me peace. Dad came into my thoughts so much during this time....all I wanted to do was call him...and talk...listen to him say...she's strong...just like you...and everything would be ok....oh how I miss that!! Oh how I soooo need that!! Well I better get off...school starts tomorrow....and I need to get up early......

Dear Daddy,

I have been thinking about you alot lately....sometimes its a smell, a song, or a memory that comes flooding into my mind. Life seems sooo much harder now that you are gone...really can't tell you why...except that it was always nice to here your thoughts or opinions...even though sometimes you would give too much opinion... :) I guess just that little bit reassured me that I was making the right choices....being the best mom....or just living my life the right way. I can't explaing it...because I get advice from mom...and my friends...but it just doesnt seem the same....I guess the difference is that you are gone... Yes...I can admit your gone....I have accepted it..... but still after 3 and 1/2 months....I find myself reaching for the phone to call you...because we havent talked in a while. WHY?

I am angry....angry that I live so far away and couldnt be there more....angry that I missed our call the sunday before you died.....angry that I couldnt see that you were sick...I am a believer in all things happen for a reason....but I can't find that courage this time.....

I miss you....more than I ever thought I would....more than you ever thought I would...more than the waters that occupy the earth....more than the number of people who live on earth.......I REALLY MISS YOU!!!

I pray that time will help me....and GOD will lift this tremendous weight off my shoulders...thats all I know to do....because you arent here to guide me this time.....

I love you daddy.......

Dad's Headstone

Well dad's headstone was placed this week. Such a bittersweet moment. I can't wait to see it in person!!

Fishing Trip

The kids went with Keith a few weekends back on a camping trip at Beaux Bridge. They stayed at a cabin which had an enclosed back deck...so the kids could fish all day. Kaitlyn and Kase got kinda bored into the second day...but Coby woke up at 6AM even on Sunday ready to fish!!!

Jellystone Park

We went camping at Jellystone Park a few weekends back....it was a blast. The park has lots of activities for the kids...even has pools,peddle boats,canoes,putt-putt golf,a game room...and lots of other activities scattered throughout the day. This was our first time visiting...but wont be our last...the kids already want to go back. We pitched a tent...just me and the kids....cooked on the grill...and played for almost 2 days in the sun and water!!Kase went home early because he was being sooo bad that I was scared with all the water he would get hurt...I hope his lesson is learned and next time he can stay the whole time!! It was a much needed break for me....and the kids!!

The park is themed like Yogi Bear the cartoon....everything is in character..the bears even visit throughout the day.

Here is the ranger station: AKA..a store that sells everything...including souvineers



Here are the kids with Cindy...Yogi's girlfriend



Here we are on the pedal boats....(they said those life vests were adults...but all of us adults who were there to ride didnt think so....)



The kids playing in one of the 4 pools..this one had a mini slide...they loved it...



The game room.....

My Princess

Kaitlyn turned 8 Saturday....wow...8 years old....really doesnt seem like its been 8 years since I became a mom to 2 little girls!! She is like me in sooo many ways!! She loves to be first and succeed at everything (like me)....but I keep reminding her that winning isnt everything. She is verifiable....100% girly girl....there is no TOM BOY in this child!! PINK is her favorite color!! (of course)...and if it shines or has glitter on it...then she WANTS it!! I call her my PRINCESS...and she just smiles the biggest smile and her eyes light up. She loves thrift stores, dollar stores, and a garage sale will make her squeal with delight....(not sure if that is from me or paw paw Ken). Give her a dollar...and you have to go to town by the end of the day sooo she can spend it...LOL She will SHOP till she drops....(got that one from her Me Me)She can eat mashed potatoes for all 3 meals......and I have to MAKE her drink water!!(but thats her being a kid) She LOVES her sister to the point I think its borderline obsession.....LOL She can never get enough interaction...whether it be scrapping, playing games, playing house, playing grocery store....anything...she never wants to stop!!....She is one of a kind....

I took these photos Saturday after we got home from her party....I can't believe how grown-up she looks....time is going by so fast.....I hope she always knows that she will always be....my princess!!!

Happy Birthday Kaitlyn

We had her birthday at The Fun Farm...and good thing...the weather was sooo bad....lots of rain and lightening....but we all made it safe...and it was a great day. She had 2 friends get to come...Isabelle and Jenna...so that made her even more happy. Her theme was cheerleading....this was her cake.....



She even showed us a cheer or two....



She was center stage while eating cake and opening presents.....



She even stuffed an animal in honor of her b-day....(like build-a-bear)she chose a horse and named it Vegas after her papa John's horse.....

Awards Day

The kids have finished yet another school year.....oh how time really goes by fast. They received their awards last Thursday....each one had a great year....and got really good grades....and are looking forward to next year!!

Kaitlyn received a Honor Roll award, the Music Appreciation award, the Computer Lab award,the Library Service award



Coby performed for us......



then he graduated from Kindergarten



Kase received a High Honor Roll award, the Science, Spelling, and Social Studies award for making all A's all year, and the Computer Lab award.....he also was the top boy student in first grade to earn the most AR points....which are points earned for reading books then taking a test online about the book...if you pass it..then you are awarded points.....the points are redemed each six weeks for prizes. He received a certificate, a medal, and a $25 dollar gift card to books a million to buy some books!!!



Chelsea hasn't received her final report card yet.....but I am sure she also did a great job!! I am so proud of my kidos...they always try their best.....and in the end it shows!!

Now its time for SUMMER!! Lots of playing, cheer camp, karate camp, KK's birthday, trips to the library, camping out, the beach, the zoo....and anything else we can find to do!!!!

one of those moments.....

Hey dad, here lately I am having 'one of those moments' where missing you really hits hard. You know those times when it slaps you in the face....when you are least expecting it. I mean I know your birthday, Father's Day, and Christmas are going to be hard....but lately...its been everyday moments. Chelsea came home last week with a certificate from T.O.P.S.....she had scored high enough on her GEE to be eligible for a T.O.P.S scholarship in English to go to college on. I was SOOO proud of her....and the first thing I did was pick the phone up...and then I stopped...because I realized that I couldnt call you....I wasnt going to get to here your voice.....Chelsea wasnt going to get to here....'way to go'...or that you were proud of her. It ripped through me like the morning I got the call....the call that changed my life. Oh daddy....I miss you sooo much!! Some days are ok...and I talk to you and can manage to hold back the tears....but others....I can't stop crying...I can't stop asking WHY? There is soo much I need your advice on right now......so much that I want to know how you feel about it! This is one of those times....I could use a little sign....a sign that everything is going to be ok....... I love you daddy........

May Fest

The kids always have this performance at the end of the school year called May Fest. They have been preparing for it...since the begining of april. They were sooo excited when the night finally came and they were able to 'show' me their dances!!

The theme was 'Remember When'.....each class had a different decade that they represented with the songs and clothing....(really cute)

Coby danced to 'Who let the dogs out'


Kase danced to.....'Rock Around the Clock Tonight'


Kaitlyn danced to a mix...of 70's....like 'YMCA'....and 'Get Down'....

Happy 7th Birthday KASE

Kase turns 7 today....wow...really? he's already 7? Time has just flown by....he is such a little man. He trys to perfect everything he does.....he is VERY sweet with the ladies...LOL...and still loves to give me kisses...and snuggle in bed with me in the mornings. I hope he doesnt outgrow needing his mommy too soon!!!

We had the usual cupcakes with the class...then I made a cookie cake for home. He opened gifts from his brother and sisters....and a card from NaNa.....but the big stuff he will get on Saturday when he has his party at The Fun Farm with his friends.

Hey MOM....I look just like Pa Pa Ken....

That is what I heard Coby say yesterday after he got dressed from taking a bath. Dad would always amuze the kids and pull his sweat pants all the way up to his chest to make the kids laugh. He looked just like Erkel....LOL :) We all enjoyed the laugh.....and I enjoyed knowing that Coby still thinks of dad often!!

Rest in Peace DADDY

Chelsea took this picture of Coby saying bye to paw paw....when we were leaving Texas to come home. I am sure daddy was watching...and saying he loved him too!!!

All of us together.....

We took these pictures after dad's funeral....Isnt it sad that it takes death to bring a family together? I hate that dad will never get to see this picture....he will never get to have it hang on his wall...or show his friends. It really sucks to think about it!! Why do we take LIFE for granted? WHY? We all know that death is the end result of life. We all know that this really is our 'temporary' home.....but why do we still continue to pass up those chances.....the chances of getting together....saying I LOVE YOU.....or taking a picture......or saying I'm sorry....or that I forgive you....!!

I see LIFE different now.....its not a race for me anymore....I am not worried about bills...or how much I can squeeze into one day....I really dont care about that stuff anymore. I only care about my children knowing who I am.....what I believe in....and most of all that I LOVE THEM soooo much and would give my life for them without thinking twice about it!! I have always heard that there were people who didnt get a chance to learn about there parents...or ask important questions... before they died....I just never thought....I would be ONE of those people....so I have made a pledge to myself to change that for my children. I want them to know ME....what I was like as a child....what my dreams were....then and now....and what I love about each one of them....and most important....what my hopes are for their futures....!!!