Dear Brandy,

Today makes 6 months that you were taken from us! I still miss you today as I did the morning after your accident. I still look for your car at school and at clinic when I arrive in the morning. I still dont understand WHY??? Why you? Why was I the one talking to you on the phone? Why didnt I do more with you? Why did you have to die in such a minor accident? WHY? WHY? WHY? I have so many questions....and NO answers.

I feel so selfish at times hurting and missing you....because I know that my feelings are nothing in comparison to what Emmaleigh and Cody are feeling or have felt these past 6 months. They now have to grow up without a mom. Duke is now left without his spouse, his soul-mate, the woman that he depended on so much. I can't fathom what they must feel and how much hurt that consumes them.

We are now approaching the end of school....and I feel as excited as I know I should be...because you were suppose to be beside me....me, you and meg...thats the way it was going to be. We were going to work together...and be friends for a lifetime.

We are having a moment of silence for you in the pinning ceremony....but it will never replace having you there. I miss your calls, seeing you at school, but I mostly miss just being your friend and knowing you were there if I ever needed you.

I know you are in a better place, and I know we will meet again someday.......but I still cant help but miss you and wonder why you..........

Middle of April....Already??

I cant believe how fast this year is going! The last few weeks have been good. I was on spring break the week after Easter....and was sick the whole time.....so thats why I havent posted. I was suppose to make up clinic but my instructor sent me home...so I have to make up 2 days in May before I graduate!! :)

Tidbits from this week:

Kaitlyn lost her first tooth on 4-9. She was so excited...she has had this loose tooth on the bottom for almost 3 weeks now. I went to pick her up at daycare and there she was smiling with a whole in her mouth.....she was proud. She put the tooth under her pillow and the tooth fairy left her $3 for it.....must have been a pretty good tooth....LOL!~

Kase has had a pretty good week....he wasnt too happy that Kaitlyn got money and he didnt...so he went arond trying to get his teeth to come out. I and his teacher tried to explain that biting somone or hitting yourself wont make your teeth come out....so we will see if this fazes out...!! He told me last night that the tooth fairy was going to bring him money anyway....even though he didnt loose a tooth....oh what to do...its so hard being a child...:) Maybe I can turn his focus to his bday coming up....he wants a John Deere Camo party so he says.....:)

Coby did #2 in the potty for the first time on Wednesday (4-9). He has being peeing in it...he would just put on a pull-up to poo. I think he might have been a little scared...and the potty was too big. So after several attempts and me refusing to buy more pull-ups.....he used the little insert seat and did it. We gave him a book....and whala....ever since then....he says gotta go poo...and goes and puts the insert on...and gets up there like a big boy. YEAH....what an accomplishment!! I have realized we need to work on peeing sitting down....because he doesnt point it down.....YUCK? :( OH well....I dont mind cleaning up.....I am just glad the day has come to NO MORE DIAPERS!!!!!! : ): ) : ) : ) : ) : ) : )

I called Chelsea and she doesnt seem interested in coming this summer to visit us....all she really talks about is her little boyfriend, Brian....I knew this time would come...it just seems like its still too soon for me. I told her I loved her and that it was ok..... (I've been there....one day she will realize...family should come first)

I finished clinic on Wednesday at NOMC (funny alot happened on Wed....LOL) We start the Nursing Home tomorrow for 6 days and then thats it. We finished Geriatrics on Friday.....so we only have 2 classes left....YEAH......there is a light.......-------->